WTF is Wrong with Bowling Alley Prices?

I went bowling last week, but that’s not what this post is about. This is about how, as an industry, bowling alleys confuse the hell out of people with too many options and wholly unremarkable “promotions”.

Bowling isn’t a regular hobby of mine, so I hopped online to do some research about the alleys in Des Moines. Our fair city had no shortage of places to look into. Unfortunately, those same alleys had no shortage of specials, deals, hours, pricing matrices, league nights, combos, packs, buy-one-get-ones, punch cards and untold other options and oddities I didn’t have the brain power to absorb. Setting aside generally terrible UX and design choices that would be right at home on Geocities, it was still a very unpleasant experience trying to plan an outing for myself and a few friends.

Let’s say you’re planning a hot date and want to do Cosmic Bowling (or glow-in-the-dark, or Galaxy, or Blackout, or Blacklight—I won’t even dare to get into the industry’s lexicon issues). Air Lanes draws your attention to this convenient schedule for “Glow-In-The-Dark” Galaxy Bowling (quotes theirs) –

Monday -Thursday: 9:30 pm – 12:00 am
Friday: 6:00 pm – 2:00 am
Saturday: 3:00 pm – 5:00 pm & 8:30 pm – 2:00 am
Sunday: 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm & 8:30 pm – 12:30 am

Good luck committing that to memory. An anamoly? Hardly. From Val Lanes:

Thunder Alley Glow Bowling: $4.75 per person per game 9:30pm-Midnight on Fridays and Saturdays

Okay, a little better, but 9:30? Wouldn’t nine or ten be simpler? Why Friday and Saturday but not Sunday? Or Thursday—a night that many folks treat like the weekend?

Plaza Lanes offers “Lazer Glow Bowling”:

Friday & Saturday 11:30 PM to 2:00 AM only $15 per person for 2.5 hours of unlimited bowling and shoes (regularly $4.29 per game).

How long does a game of bowling take? I just went bowling and I don’t know. I can tell you it varies greatly depending on the number of players and the number of beers. Is $15 a good deal? Is it still a good deal if you roll in at 12:30? It makes even less sense when you compare it to the onslaught of information containing their other hours and deals:

(Click for big.)

Yeesh.

I could go on and on, but the short story is: the typical bowling alley is using an overly complicated, overly nuanced, and impossible to memorize set of prices, hours, and specials. It’s hard to understand and it’s hardly exciting. Look at this cra-a-a-zy deal (sarcasm) from Merle Hay Lanes:

$5.00 Per person receives a half hour of bowling and shoes.
Want to bowl longer?
An extra hour is just $5.00!!

Jesus H. Christ, hold me back! $5 for a half hour?! That’s…a good price? Maybe? I don’t even have a frame of reference.

I’m reminded of a great bit from Seth Godin about being remarkable (I think it’s in Free Prize Inside). A restaurant deciding to stay open an hour later is unremarkable—literally. It’s hardly worth remarking upon. But deciding to be open 24 hours? That’s different. That’s remarkable.

These bowling alleys have the same problem. They shift hours and prices 30 minutes and 30 cents at a time as if it’s going to ignite some sort of magic price/time/supply-and-demand-based frenzy. I don’t have any data on it, but my instincts tell me that most casual bowlers just stumble into whatever deal/price/hours are going on at the time.

When my lottery ticket hits and I get to open up Scott Lanes, here’s how we’ll do business:

1. We’ll be open the same hours every single day of the week.
2. We will determine the least popular night of the week and have league night that night – if at all. If possible, we’ll leave lanes open during league night anyway so that nobody has to care.
3. We will not charge for shoes. Ever. We don’t charge to rent balls, so we’re not charging to rent shoes.
4. We will, at any given time, choose one promotion to run and promote the everliving hell out of it. The promotion will not be based on the price of bowling and shifting numbers up or down fifty cents or a dollar. Instead, it will focus on something remarkable such as live entertainment, giveaways, theme nights, or the stuff we really make margin on: beer and munchies.
5. If the easiest way to explain something is to use a matrix, we’re not going to do it.
6. We’ll have free popcorn. Customers will love it. It will be salty as hell. You will buy lots of expensive sugar water because of this free popcorn.

I know how much a movie ticket is going to run me, and I’m rarely surprised by the price of beer or the closing time of my neighborhood haunts. Choice is can be good, but simplicity is better. Don’t sacrifice the latter for the former.

About the author: Scott is BitMethod’s “Chief Nerd Translator”, filling project management and copywriting roles on most projects. He is passionate about media and has worked in radio, film and event planning. When he grows up he wants to be a Ghostbuster.

Reach out to Scott Kubie at scott@bitmethod.com