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How to Write a Fucking Blog Post

by Scott Kubie in , 20 September 2010

Ever get stuck working on a blog post?

“You’re not stuck. You’re lost.”

That’s the abridged version of the advice I generally give people that are stuck on their projects, and, in particular, their writing. In this post, I’m going to give you the unabridged blue version of how to write a fucking blog post.

Last week I, Amanda and Neil all got blog posts up. Dan and Igor did not. One of these weeks we’re going to go five for five. Last week was not that week.

As our CEO and COO struggled with their post drafts, I threw the following together in a moment of inspired—if not frustrated—levity to serve as a guide to getting through a motherfucking blog post. Much gratitude to Zach of the excellent WhatTheFuckShouldIMakeForDinner. While the WTFSIMFD site is randomized, my guide is a bit more chronological in nature.

I wrote it in Word and have posted it on SlideShare for your downloading pleasure. It’s two columns with room on the right to sketch notes. You can download it or just use the controls in the embed window to zoom in, scroll and read.

Useful? Not useful? Most hilarious and also best thing you’ve ever read on the Internet, ever?

I would LOVE if other people left their fucking (sorry, hard to stop) advice on how to write a fucking blog post. I’ll take the best ones and put them into the final version—with credit, of course!—and work with Amanda to get it out there in a fun and digestable design.

Scott Kubie

About the author: Scott is BitMethod’s “Chief Nerd Translator”, filling project management and copywriting roles on most projects. He is passionate about media and has worked in radio, film and event planning. When he grows up he wants to be a Ghostbuster.

Reach out to Scott Kubie at scott@bitmethod.com

Comments

  1. Great post. Just wondering, though, do you recommend using the f-word any chance you get? (This is a serious question, not a critique.)

  2. LBF – I recommend being true to oneself. I cuss like a sailor. Always have, always will. If you don’t, don’t. If you do, do.

    I feel very strongly that self-censorship and faux-professionalism drags down the quality of self-published works the world ‘round. People are too strongly focused on maintaining an image or projecting some air of expertise as opposed to putting good ideas out there and engaging in honest conversations.

    The blue language in this post is a stylistic choice — nobody would be inclined to share another boring-ass post about how to put a blog together. I’m sure somebody else with a different voice and a different perspective could take the same guts in my guide and put a very different and very wonderful guide together, but it wouldn’t be mine.

  3. The WSJ has positive things to say about cursing in a professional setting:

    http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2010/09/23/f-bomb-your-way-to-the-top/?mod=wsj_share_twitter

    I couldn’t agree more. Having come from a high-stress environment, the longer your ideas go relatively unnoticed, the more angry you become until eventually you drop an eff-bomb out of nowhere. Suddenly you’ve got your VP’s attention, and he likes what he’s hearing.

    A former professor of mine once described what he called, “fuck in the service of anti-fuck.” The man was notorious for dropping the eff-bomb in class, which was a problem for the university since he taught religion classes, offending many of his pious pupils. One day in class he polled a room of college juniors & seniors.

    “How many of you have seen American Idol?”
    Hands flew up all over the room. He looked like he was gonna be sick.
    “Ok, now how many of you brainiacs have seen House?”
    Five or six hands went up. He called on one of them.
    “Tell me, why did you start watching House?”
    The kid, embarrassed, responded, “I was watching American Idol one night, and it was on right after, so I just kept watching.”

    Bingo. His point was that American Idol is “fuck”. It’s flash & glitz & glimmer with absolutely no content. It’s mind mush. But House, to him, is “anti-fuck”. It’s about a critical thinker who understands the finite universe we live in, and uses those rules to actually do some good. Plus he thought Cuddy was hot, but he assured us that was completely beside the point. The point was that the world could use a few more critical thinkers and a few less screaming teenagers. The world could also use a few more college students taking religion courses (critical thinking) instead of accounting (monkey see, monkey do), and if all it took to get college kids to sign up for religion classes was using the word “fuck” no less than 20 times in a 30 minute class, then he was happy to do it.

    Don’t know if that’s your same school of thought, or not, Scott, but thought it was relevant (and windy … I’m obviously an accountant).

  4. Your site contains much other information that gives more knowledge and many more ideas about the topics you have given in your site.

  5. What I’d add to this (minus F-word) would be “Know your audience.” Who are you writing for? What do you want that audience to do with that information once you lay the knowledge on them? Define who you are writing for and deliver the post in a language that they can understand.

  6. 3:15 in the fugging morning, while laying in bed, I was thinking about a response to this fugging post, which I hadn’t even read. (Discussed at the Central Iowa Bloggers session in the context of “What if a prospective customer, the VP of Corporate Communications at Big Insurance Company, read it?”)

    First, this post should be included in the junior high school English composition curriculum. (No? Another reason why I’m not a fugging schoolteacher.)

    Second, thank you for “…punch yourself in the nuts (or lady bits).” Good for a chuckle at 4 in the fugging morning.

    Third, how about adding something about letting the material rest, for example, “When you think you’re done, put the shit on a shelf. Fuhgeddaboudit. Go back to it the next day. You’ll be fucking smarter. Is it still wonderful shit?”

    And, finally, if the VP at Big Insurance Co. doesn’t get a few laughs and useful ideas from the post, would you want to do business with him?

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