Clients From Hell iPhone App: When doing something is worse than doing nothing.

I really, really, really, really like the blog Clients From Hell. It’s annoying for people in the office when they post an update, because I will immediately read most of them out loud. It’s funny, it’s fast, and it exists without any narrative from the blog itself – all content is created from user submitted stories. The design is simple, clean and stylish as many Tumblr blogs are. Posts get liked and reblogged like crazy on Tumblr and it’s pretty popular in its own right.

The site is run by MetaLab, a successful interface design company that boasts “Simple is Beautiful”. That’s true for many of their projects, but certainly not all. While MetaLab is pretty awesome overall, the hard truth is that simple isn’t beautiful when it’s boring, too. The Clients From Hell app epitomizes boring.

I’m not sure that most would be able to tell the difference between the mobile site automatically generated by Tumblr and the app built by MetaLab. In fact, the application ends up with less functionality than the mobile site. I cannot think of many reasons for downloading this app other than to “see what it does.”

Okay, so it’s a simple site with a simple app, what’s the problem? One dollar. The CFH app is not free. One dollar will buy you any number of great apps on the app store. I won’t miss my dollar – it’s a tax write-off now, right? – but to create an app offering an experience inferior to the free one in every way and then ask for money for it seems a bit odd to me.

People are going to be expecting more and more out of their apps as smartphones become more ubiquitous. Consumers will be getting increasingly savvy about what is possible with an app, and know when they are getting ripped off. Recently, Apple has been cracking down on licensed cookie cutter apps that simply syndicate RSS feeds — the Clients From Hell app isn’t much more than that. To warrant more than a “dollar donation” for their foray into the mobile space, a lot more functionality is needed. Maybe die-hard fans are comfortable throwing a dollar at a lame app from their favorite musician, but even that is a stretch.

I hope that MetaLab takes a second stab at their CFH app in the future. Here are some possibilities for immediate improvement:

• Post by post navigation – something that would be helpful with longer stories (and is already available on the mobile site).
• Visual indication of what I have and have not read.
• Landscape view & text zooming like Mobile Safari allows.
• Copy/pasting of choice little bits I want to share with someone or use as a tease to link on Twitter.
• A fave star in the corner so I don’t have to inexplicably click twice to add something to my favorites (and SOMETHING to do with my favorites once I have them – what is this feature for, again?)
• Instapaper support – another thing I already have via Mobile Safari.

And that’s just the basics. If the only primary action you have to offer your users is the ability to read a site that is already quite easy to read on the iPhone, you might want to consider giving them a little something extra for their money. Some random ideas off the top of my head:

• An illustrated client-from-hell voodoo doll I can hold a lighter to or put stickpins in to relieve stress.
• A sleek and stylish interface to submit stories.
• A stupid photo toy that lets me add devil horns to my contact photos to remind myself not to pick up the phone when a client from hell calls.
• A weekly comic only available via the iPhone app.
• Clients From Hell bingo with cards for different industries that I can play during terrible meetings.

In the end, I think doing nothing may have been a better option than doing something. Simple can be beautiful – I don’t think the app needs complication or heavy engineering to make it worthwhile. However, a little more effort into translating the existing concept into a compelling new product for the App store would go a long way.

BitMethod will be launching a new humor-blog product soon, and it lends itself very well to an iPhone app. If we reach that point and can’t imagine any functionality or purpose beyond “have an app in the store”, we’re not going to do it, plain and simple. Just because you can do something with technology doesn’t mean you should – a truism a great interface design company like MetaLab has likely internalized. Alas, even the best of us stray from the path sometimes.

About the author: Scott is BitMethod’s “Chief Nerd Translator”, filling project management and copywriting roles on most projects. He is passionate about media and has worked in radio, film and event planning. When he grows up he wants to be a Ghostbuster.

Reach out to Scott Kubie at scott@bitmethod.com